What mental images pop into your mind when your hear the word “violence”?
Usually we think of physical violence, verbal violence or passive aggressive behaviour. However, there are many more ways in which one can be violent. Sanja talked about tons of ways in which we can be violent to others and to ourselves, without even noticing it as the forms of violence can be more subtle than expressively yelling at someone or beating the shit out of them. Like: not having a shower before yoga class is violence against 20 other people who practice yoga with you; hitting the gym or going for a jog when you’re really tired or in pain is violence against oneself; same is being lazy and eating in front of tv for days/weeks when we know there are things to be done that’ll bring us some benefit,etc.etc. I am sure you can think of many more once you saw the term ‘violence’ in larger image.
Listening to all of this I realized once again how ambivalent everything is. A thing that in one circumstances can be an act of extreme self-love, just the day after can be an aggressive act of violence towards ourselves. For example, let’s say you have exam in few days and you aren’t doing a thing, you’re just lying around, watching sitcoms, feeling guilty, but all the same not doing anything about it. It is obvious that it is self-violence in its purest form. But, let’s say that you study for 8 hours a day and you get really, really tired and sleepy, a terrible headache pops in - but you decide to continue studying as the exam is seriously approaching. Don’t know about you, but a week ago I’d say that this is an act of self-love and ambition - isn’t it self-loving to push ourselves to the limits and beyond in order to achieve our goals?
Well, not really. The thing is that we can’t draw a straight line where self-love turns into self-violence in other people’s lives, because the only one who knows it is them. There is not an objective criterion. By listening to our inner guidance, we can always know whether our behaviour serves us in the moment or whether it is damaging. Sometimes the ultimate act of self-love is taking a rest, sometimes it is going for a run; one day it can be drinking a vegetable juice and the other day enjoying a piece of chocolate cake. You know what I mean?
I hope this’ll make you think about your own behaviour and try to recognize whether you treat yourself in loving or aggressive way. For the most of my life I was a pretty black-white person, so this really opened my eyes to some new shades that I wasn’t being able to see before. I am doing my best to get honest with myself and follow the voice of my intuition as it always knows what’s the best thing to do!
Treating ourselves in more loving way gives us the power to treat the others the same!
Lots of love,
Maja