I am writing this down sitting by the fireplace in a lovely wooden house in Dolomites, enjoying the warmth and coziness after long, beautiful and exciting day spent outside, walking, exploring and just - living each moment to the fullest, I guess.
God, I am so happy. And grateful. I know that I may sound super lame, maybe I won’t even post this, but I just wanted to leave a trace while I’m in this state, cause afterwards....you know, memory alters things, makes them worse or better or simply sucks out details and nuances that give so much to a situation. I feel a deep peace and tranquility, a subtle sense of knowing that everything is just the way it has to be and that everything is happening for my higher good. I am grateful to be in this magnificent place, surrounded by nature, away from all the modern craziness that I am surrounded by most of the time and spending these precious, rare, but therefore so much more intense moments with the person I love, being treated like the most special and important being in the whole world.
It all makes sense now, you know. All shitty relationships, all tears and hurt and everything that I attracted at the time... “We accept love we think we deserve.” I heard this so many times, but just now I understand it fully. It is true. If you are getting treated like shit by people in your life, it is very probable that you haven’t been treating yourself very nicely, because all the relationships in our lives are just mirrors. They mirror conflicts within ourselves, they incarnate the beliefs we hold onto that may limit ourselves or allow us to expand - the choice is all ours. The beliefs, no matter how deeply rooted, are not fixed and can be altered. However, you must face them, get clear about their presence and character in order to start changing them. How would you get a proper medicine if you didn’t know which part of your body is ill? It’s the same with this stuff.
God, I am so happy. And grateful. I know that I may sound super lame, maybe I won’t even post this, but I just wanted to leave a trace while I’m in this state, cause afterwards....you know, memory alters things, makes them worse or better or simply sucks out details and nuances that give so much to a situation. I feel a deep peace and tranquility, a subtle sense of knowing that everything is just the way it has to be and that everything is happening for my higher good. I am grateful to be in this magnificent place, surrounded by nature, away from all the modern craziness that I am surrounded by most of the time and spending these precious, rare, but therefore so much more intense moments with the person I love, being treated like the most special and important being in the whole world.
It all makes sense now, you know. All shitty relationships, all tears and hurt and everything that I attracted at the time... “We accept love we think we deserve.” I heard this so many times, but just now I understand it fully. It is true. If you are getting treated like shit by people in your life, it is very probable that you haven’t been treating yourself very nicely, because all the relationships in our lives are just mirrors. They mirror conflicts within ourselves, they incarnate the beliefs we hold onto that may limit ourselves or allow us to expand - the choice is all ours. The beliefs, no matter how deeply rooted, are not fixed and can be altered. However, you must face them, get clear about their presence and character in order to start changing them. How would you get a proper medicine if you didn’t know which part of your body is ill? It’s the same with this stuff.
I always thought that time expands when we are bored and shrinks when we are being occupied and having good time. Well, I guess it is true in a way, but there was always that thing that I couldn’t explain to myself - when you look back and it seems like a really long period and all the same like the fracture of a moment? Maybe I am missing something obvious or just wasting my mental energy on useless things, but I like to think about these stuff. What I noticed these days is that time expands when you’re traveling (at least it does to me), that it forces you to immerse in every and each moment, be present and experience the vividness that may be around us all the time, but escaping our senses as they numb out in surroundings and situations that we’re accostumed to. Maybe it is because of that necessary dose of discomfort and unpredictability that traveling consists of - that many people are scared of and in resistance to, not realizing that once you let go of that resistance and just give in to the feeling of being a bit uncomfortable, miracles happen and growth occurs. Maybe it is all just about letting go of the false sense of control and replacing it with trust and gratitude?
The snow is incessantly falling down, adding to the already abundant amount on the ground and even I, that am not a biggest fan of it, must admit that it really looks surreal and beautiful in this scenery. I don’t feel the urge to resist it and complain, wishing for spring to come. It will come anyways, sooner or later, but now I feel perfectly fine with some colder weather and more layers of clothes. I realized when I embrace things just as they are, as opposed to fighting them, they change. They are no more threatening nor dangerous. They just are.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense... but nothing really does, right?
Hope you’re having an amazing February <3
Love, Maja
I don’t know if any of this makes sense... but nothing really does, right?
Hope you’re having an amazing February <3
Love, Maja